pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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