How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
