Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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