problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
