I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
