Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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