are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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