people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize