Pants 0. Shit 1.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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