LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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