is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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