I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
