butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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