i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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