So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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