we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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