Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
