The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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