Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
