My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
