Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
