just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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