Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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