it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
