Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
