I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
