i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize