He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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