I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
