Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize