ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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