did you get engaged???
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
