So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
