So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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