Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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