i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
