Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
