I'm really into asian looking animals
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
