Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
