I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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