is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
