I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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