for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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