Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
