Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
whose ass print is on the piano?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
