he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize