I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
