He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
