I think I died a long time ago.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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