No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
