Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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