I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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