i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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