I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
