the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
