I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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