Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
