piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
