spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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