the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
