When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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