can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
